It’s BLOG SWAPPING DAY! I know how excited all of y’all are! Just be sure to pop over to my blog to see what Kaitlyn’s got goin’ on over there!
So I say a lot of stupid shit. I will be the first to admit that! It’s almost like as soon as I finish the sentence I immediately feel embarrassed or blonde. Ha! No offense to you blondes out there…you just know what I mean! But then again, one of the many consequences of not thinking things through before opening my big mouth. It’s the moments that are the facepalm moments that really get me shaking my head. Like really dude?! Did you just say that?? Oh dear…
The time when I asked how helicopters work.
I asked the boyfriend, “How do helicopters run?” He looked at me and said, “Seriously? Off of air Allison. Duh.” You could probably see the wheels turning in my head as I said, “Oh yeah. Duh. That’s what I always thought! I don’t know why I asked that.” (They run off of fuel. That’s the Duh.)
The time I tried to seduce the boyfriend.
I thought it’d be cute/funny to climb into bed before the boyfriend and pretend I had no clothes on. I said to him as soon as he walked in, “I’m totally naked under here!” Then he started laughing hysterically and said, “You can’t say that Allison! It’s like saying ‘I’m naked and I have a pizza'”. WHAT?! How does that even make sense??
The time I overreacted and went to the doctor.
I’m gonna get real real here. I had a pretty intense poo one day and I freaked myself out that I had given myself a hemorrhoid. So I went to the doctor the next morning for this hemorrhoid and after she was done poking around she said, “I don’t think you have a hemorrhoid. If you do, it’s the tiniest one ever.” Then I went home mortified and told my sister about it and shouted, “How do you think I felt when I went to the doctor’s for an invisible hemorrhoid?!”
The time I revealed one of my bucket list items.
We were on a road trip and I saw a sign that said “Landfill” with an arrow. And the first thing that came to my mind…”You know what I’ve always wanted to see? A landfill!” Why, you ask? Who knows. But apparently that’s on my list.
The time I ripped apart a book for a potential autograph.
My friend and I went to the Chelsea Lately show – the live taping. I tried to be trendy and bring a cute little purse, but I also brought Chelsea Handler’s first book with me too. We had front row seats and I was hoping I could get her to sign my book. I was so nervous and I couldn’t get the book to fit in my purse. So in reality, I should have just carried it into the show, but I panicked and ripped the cover off and shoved it in my purse. Like if it didn’t fit in my purse, I couldn’t take it in. How ridiculous is that?! Especially when we get in there and they collect your book and Chelsea runs to side stage and signs them all. UGH. Good job Allison.
Ahhhh geez. Those have been some pretty good palm-to-forehead moments. What’s your favorite moment like that? You can’t tell me that you haven’t had any!!